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Poor Wolves, eh? Not only are they part of the winless six; they are propping up the whole table with just one point. It’s like they’re playing musical chairs and when the music stops they’re left without a seat – or in this case winless

I’m no tactical genius – the closest I’ve ever come to managing a football team was on FIFA, and even then I managed to get a top club relegated (don’t ask) – but even I can see that Wolves’ defense is leakier than the roof of my old flat. They’ve already conceded 14 goals and share the honor of having the worst defense in the league.

But wait, it gets worse. Wolves haven’t kept a clean sheet in 17 games. Seventeen! The last time I went that long without achieving something. Let’s just say my New Year’s resolutions usually don’t make it past January.

If Wolves are the stuff of nightmares, rest assured Liverpool are the beasts of nightmares. The Reds have won 14 of the last 15 league meetings between these two. It’s so one-sided, it’s almost unfair – like challenging your grandmother to a PlayStation tournament (sorry grandma, but your button-pressing technique needs work).

Wolves are missing goals like a colander, while Liverpool are tighter than my post-shopping spree budget. They’ve only conceded one goal this season. One goal! It’s like they have a force field around their goal.